Never Do More Than One Stupid Thing at a Time
©2015 Tom Arnold / Deadbeat Music

When you’re driving in your Hummer
Down the highway late at night
You’re blowing a J while the radio plays
You know you’re feeling all right

That’s not the time
To press the pedal to the metal
My friend you’d better think twice

Cause you’re doing 87 in marijuana heaven
When the cops saw you blow by
The flashing blue lights in the middle of the night
Made you realize

That you never do
More than one stupid thing at a time
Do just one and life will turn out fine

No you never do
More than one stupid thing at a time
Do just one and life will turn out fine

ONCE, TWICE
YOU’RE SKATING ON THIN ICE
TWO, THREE
GAME OVER, YOU’RE NOT HOME FREE

Now you’re standing in the courtroom
In the glare of the harsh spotlight
With a shiny medallion and a sideways cap
Wearing low slung baggy blue pants

That’s not the time
To be telling the judge
You’re standing up for your rights

Cause he’s holding the cards on more than one charge
Involving both traffic and vice
The look in his eye is telling you why
He’ll give you the maximum twice

For doing
More than one stupid thing at a time
Do just one and life will turn out fine

No you never do
More than one stupid thing at a time
Do just one and life will turn out fine